


Just Kidding.....Unless?

by Aziwaphale



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Garrett the Barista, Jealous Crowley (Good Omens), Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 16:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20492138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aziwaphale/pseuds/Aziwaphale
Summary: Crowley wasn't jealous that Aziraphale was getting hit on by that barista.And he certainly wasn't jealous when he found them talking at the bookstore.So why did he pretend that he was dating Aziraphale just to make him go away?





	Just Kidding.....Unless?

**Author's Note:**

> Day two of #gomensficweek2019
> 
> Today's prompt is: Fake Dating!!
> 
> I was going to make them human but then this idea came to me and I just ran with it!

Crowley was bored, like, unbelievably bored. The kind of bored that takes over your entire body until you become nothing but a vessel of boredom. He hadn’t heard from his angel in a week and he was feeling lonely. Lonely and bored. 

The angel had almost cut all communications with him after one of their ‘lunch dates’ last Monday. The demon was slouched in his chair trying to figure out what had happened that day that might have deterred the ethereal being away from him. 

They had met up in St. James’s Park, as usual, and went to this new pop up coffee shop that Aziraphale had wanted to try out. The coffee was good, the food was good according to the angel. Aziraphale had been hit on by the barista, which wasn’t unusual. The only unusual thing was, this time, Crowley had managed to hide his annoyance at the angel being flirted with. 

‘Is that it?’ Thought the demon, before shaking the thought out of his head. Why would the angel be mad at me for that? It wasn’t like the angel even had those kinds of feelings for him. Right?

‘Only one way to find out.’ Crowley grumbled to himself, slipping into his jacket and grabbing the keys to his Bentley. He drove (way too quickly) through London to get to the angel’s bookstore in Soho. Pulling up in the mysteriously convenient free space outside the front doors. 

Crowley sauntered up to the doors and pushed them open. He called out to Aziraphale. 

‘Angel you in here? Fancy a stroll through the park?’

Crowley neared turned heel and ran when a red faced angel came out from around the corner followed by that fucking barista from the coffee shop!

‘Crowley, dear, what are you doing here?’ The flustered Aziraphale sputtered out, his eyes looking like they were pleading for something. 

The barista, who was wearing possibly the world's skinniest jeans, smirked mockingly at Crowley. That’s when the demon got it, the barista was probably trying to shoot his shot with Aziraphale, and the angel being too kind, wouldn’t have the heart to tell him no. 

Crowley smirked back at the barista with a devilish twink in his eyes. 

‘Well angel, I missed you, is that not a good enough reason to come and see you?’ He chuckled, moving closer to the flustered angel. Who looked at him with wide eyes before they closed quickly and a smile of thanks crossed his face. 

‘Of course my love, I missed you too.’

The barista nearly choked on the air he took in with his sharp gasp. He looked quickly between Aziraphale and Crowley with a confused look across his face before a frown took over his face. He turned to face Aziraphale with a smirk that could rival Crowley’s.

‘Here’s my number if you get sick of that.’ He whispered into the angels ear, handing him a piece of paper. Aziraphale almost looked offended by the baristas actions but before he could speak up, he had left the store. 

Crowley plucked the piece of paper out of the Aziraphale’s hands.

‘Garrett? He even sounds like a prick.’

Aziraphale chuckled slightly before gasping and slapping the demon’s arm.

‘Don’t speak about others like that dear.’ He reprimanded lightly. 

‘So angel, speak up, what on Earth was that about?’ Crowley inquired, leaning against the door frame. 

‘Well, you see Crowley, after that meal on Monday, you know the one at the splendid little coffee shop?’ He paused until Crowley nodded to confirm he knew what Aziraphale was talking about. ‘Well the barista, ah Garrett, after he noticed that you and I weren’t…..you know. He looked me up and found me here, and, well, dear, he’s been coming here everyday since!’ The Angel was completely flabbergasted, as if he couldn’t comprehend the fact that this Garrett would try so hard. 

Crowley chuckled to himself before straightening up, ‘guess you could say that I’m your knight in black armour huh angel?’

Aziraphale laughed, thinking back to when he and Crowley met while he was still a knight of the round table. 

‘Yes I suppose that you could. Now what was that about a stroll?’

The next few days passed as usual, Crowley and Aziraphale would meet up, walk and talk or go for some lunch somewhere to pass the time. They might have been each other's adversaries, but the company was always nice.

It wasn’t until the Friday night rolled around that their routine was interrupted.

The two sat in Aziraphale’s bookstore, drinking a bottle of Chianti that Crowley had brought with him. It was summertime so at 9 pm it was still light out, the golden sunlight streamed in past the shutters on the store and lit the room pleasantly. Crowley was ranting and raving on about the new models of Bentley's and how they just ‘weren't the same’ in comparison to his older model. That’s when there was a knock on the front door.

‘Well, who could that possibly be?’ Aziraphale mused aloud, ‘I’m quite certain I turned the sign to closed when we came in!’

Crowley knew before Aziraphale even opened the door, he could sense the strange energy that came off the man. He rolled his eyes at Aziraphale’s gasp as the front door opened and stood up to meet Garrett at the door.

Garrett was talking to his angel before he even had the chance to get there, saying something stupid like ‘I can be better than him’ obviously referring to the demon who was now standing behind Aziraphale.

‘Hello Garrett.’ Crowley gritted out, placing a hand on his angel’s shoulder, which made Garrett direct his eyes towards it, ‘iss there ssomething we can help you with?’ he hissed.

Garrett squinted slightly at the couple, before uttering a quick ‘think about what I said’ to Aziraphale and storming off.

Aziraphale’s shoulders lost all of their tension before he turned quickly and walked past Crowley and back towards where they were sat earlier. Crowley frowned slightly but  
made his way back over to the angel that was drinking his wine rather quickly.

‘Alright angel?’ Crowley inquired with a raised eyebrow, sitting down in the seat next to him.

Aziraphale huffed in reply and finished off the rest of his glass, he set it down on the table gently.

‘He said, Garrett said, that he knew we were faking it.’ The angel said quietly, his finger tracing it’s way around the rim of his wine glass.

‘Wow how could he possibly know that?’ Crowley said, trying to resist the urge to laugh loudly at Garrett’s ridiculous claims.

‘Well, he’s right is he not Crowley?’ Aziraphale snapped, shocking Crowley slightly. He hadn’t expected the angel to take this so seriously. He almost got annoyed himself at Aziraphale’s attitude.

‘If you’re that upset about it, we can just stop.’ 

Aziraphale’s head snapped up to look Crowley in the eyes.

‘Is that what you want Crowley?’ The angel whispered, a strange amount of malice lacing his voice.

‘Look angel, if you want to stop pretending that’s fine with me, it’s not like it could ever work anyway!’ Crowley’s words were coming out of his mouth without restraint now, and before he could stop himself he said the words he never wanted to say.

‘You’re an angel and I’m a demon remember, we just don’t work! And we never will!’

Aziraphale recoiled away from Crowley as if the demon had slapped him. He closed his eyes slowly and took a deep breath. There was only a moment of silence, but to Crowley it felt like it lasted an hour.

‘I think you should leave Crowley.’ He spoke quietly, not daring to even look at the demon. Crowley was shell-shocked, he stuttered over some words before trying to reach out towards the angel, bringing his hand back towards himself when the angel flinched away from him.

‘Angel, I didn’t mean-’

‘I said, leave Crowley’

The angel still wasn’t looking at him, he was just sat there with his eyes closed and his fists clenched by his sides. Crowley let out a wounded noise before standing up in defeat, he slumped his way towards the front door, pausing just before he left.

‘I’m sorry angel.’ He said, before he pulled the door closed behind him.

The day had been pleasant when they had initially met up so Crowley had walked to the Soho bookstore, but now, the heavens had opened and it was raining heavily. The demon sullenly walked his way back to his flat, letting the water soak through his clothes. He had never felt more miserable in his life. He didn’t even have the heart to yell at his plants as he entered the flat, he just wished away his wet clothes and got into some dry ones and fell onto his bed.

Why did he say that? He never meant to hurt the angel. He knew that Aziraphale didn’t feel the same way about him, so why was the angel so upset? Unless he did love him too? But that was impossible. Crowley shook the ridiculous thought from his head and tried to will himself to sleep.

The demon tossed and turned on the silk sheets, his mind running a thousand miles a second with thoughts and possibilities. He thought about calling the angel or running straight back to him but he thought it would be best to give the angel some time to think things over as well. 

Crowley huffed before he sat up and grabbed his bottle of whiskey from the side of his bed. He took a swig, hoping it would ease his mind a little. He thought about Garrett, and what the barista would actually do if he knew that they weren’t actually together. The demon slouched against the bed frame with the bottle of whisky cradled in his arms, taking constant sips. He must have eventually fallen asleep as he was half conscious of his mind creating dreams instead of real thoughts. 

He awoke suddenly to the sunlight on his face, having forgotten to close his blinds last night. Crowley was completely surprised that he had actually only slept for one night, instead of his usual week. He groaned into the empty flat and rolled out of bed, he took a couple of minutes to make sure he looked presentable before rushing out of the flat and into his Bentley.

The demon almost ran a pedestrian over as he saw who was stood outside of the bookstore, Garrett, with his dirty hands all over his pristine angel. He floored it the rest of the way, pulling up next to the two of them, scaring the barista and causing the angel to roll his eyes, used to Crowley reckless driving.

Before he could even think, Crowley was out of the car and had Garrett pinned up against the wall.

‘What made you think you could put your hands on MY angel.’ The demon growled out, smiling devilishly at Garrett’s squeak of fear.

‘I was under the- the impression that he wasn’t even yours.’ Garrett coughed out, trying to pull Crowley’s hands away from his shoulders.

‘He iss mine, and he alwayss has been. He will never be yourss.’ Crowley hissed, he pushed against Garrett once more to get his point across, before letting him go. He positioned himself in front of Aziraphale before turning back towards the terrified barista, ‘now leave us alone.’ He barked out, smirking to himself when Garrett scampered away in a hurry.

‘Crowley.’ Came the soft voice from behind the demon, who turned to face it. 

Aziraphale had tears in his eyes, and he was staring Crowley down with a ferocity that almost frightened the demon. But before the angel could get a word out, Crowley held up a hand, indicating that he was going to speak first and Aziraphale was going to listen.

‘Before you say anything angel, I meant every word. I love you, I always have. And I know that you don’t feel the same way, and that’s alright, uhh well, it’s not, but I can accept it.’

Aziraphale froze for a second before sighing affectionately.

‘Oh you silly serpent, are you really that blind dear?’

Crowley frowned, blind? This couldn’t be happening.  
‘I love you too, foolish boy, I may have not understood it at first, but I do now.’

Aziraphale smiled softly at him, and almost chuckled when Crowley’s brain clicked into place.

‘So, you mean, yesterday. When I blurted all of that stupid shit out?’ Crowley asked, even though he knew the answer.

‘I thought that you could never possibly love me back.’ Aziraphale answered with a sad tone, before his eyes lit up again. ‘I suppose that we are both just as silly as each other in that regard.’ The angel chuckled, earning a laugh from the demon in response.

‘How many years?’ The demon asked, wanting to know how long they could have been together if only they hadn’t been so oblivious.

‘I suppose, that night at the church, 1941. You saved my books from the bomb. I believe it was in that moment I truly realised my affections for you.’ Aziraphale spoke wistfully, a dreamy look in his eyes.

‘1941…. All of those years, wasted.’ Crowley mused, thinking about the time they missed.

Aziraphale shook his head, taking Crowley’s hand in his own.

‘Not wasted my love, we still had the time together, only now we can spend our time loving each other romantically, not just as friends.’ Crowley smiled softly at his angel.

‘Trust you to find something poetic to say.’ He laughed, getting a laugh in return from Aziraphale.

‘We have all the time in the world now darling boy.’

‘Yeah, I suppose we do.’

All the time in the world, thought Crowley again, positively gleeful at the prospect of eternity with his angel.

And if the couple returned to the coffee shop at a later date, only so Crowley could rub it in Garrett’s face that the two were actually dating now, well then that was nobody's business but theirs. And Garrett’s, who was rather disgruntled at the displays of affection coming from the couple sat in the corner of the shop, looking so disgustingly in love, he took his lunch break early that day.


End file.
